How is fear of what others think limiting you?

“It’s not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.”  Eckhart Tolle
My younger self felt trapped most of the time out of fear of what others might think of me.  As young a five year old, I already was aware that this thinking was preventing me from doing the things I really wanted to do, but I always hoped or believed that something would magically change.  I would lose that weight I believed I needed to lose.  I would feel smart enough to speaking out in class or in meetings.  I would feel confident just doing what I wanted to do without analysing every step and talking myself out of it our of fear of embarrassing myself.
In university I knew things had to change.  If I were to get good grades, the professor would have to know who I was.  I went back to school as an adult student at age 24, so I wasn’t a kid any longer, but I was still too embarrassed and shy to voice my thoughts in a classroom.  I decided at the start of a new semester to say something – anything – on my first day of each class.  It was hard, but it broke the ice for me.  I found it easier to speak each and every day after that.  After all, I lived through the experience!  No one laughed, snickered, or called me a name. 
This very small shift in my thinking continued.  Whenever I found myself feeling uncomfortable, I made myself face that feeling.  I’d ask myself:

1. What is it that is making me uncomfortable?  (situation)
2. Where am I feeling it?  (where in my body?)
3. Why do I feel this way?  (What are the crazy, nonsensical beliefs I’m thinking, but the rational me knows are NOT true?)

Usually for me it was a social situation that made me feel a little sick to my stomach.  The “why” was usually something I was imagining and not at all based on reality.  If I could go through this three question process quickly and in the moment, I could usually overcome the obstacle.
I’d be lying if I said I no longer give a second thought to what others think, but for the most part I can push those old thoughts to the ground and move forward.
Too often we suffer in silence.  We believe ourselves to be the only one with a particular problem in a sea of supposedly confident people.  However, we all have our own issues and we all have our own fears.
Funny enough, when you begin confronting your fears, you will inspire others to face their own.  Someone is always watching you and wishing they had your courage, or your stamina, or your talent.  Really!  They are!
If I hadn’t learned to believe and trust in myself in my mid twenties, I would never have had the courage to become a Coach.  A tiny shift in the way you think will grow into a huge change in your life.  Start small, but set a goal.  Any goal.  Achieve it and then set another.  Just keep moving forward.  I believe in you!
Your Coach, Christine
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